Because We Never Were
by trepidationBLAH
Summary: SasuSaku Oneshot. Angsty fluff...Because he can only pretend to ignore her.


Lack of proper nouns intended. If you read this, review please. Constructive criticism welcome.

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Because We Never Were

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It's a bright summer day when he first meets her. He is, along with almost every other kid in town, crowded around the ice cream stand that's by the sandbox at the park. There's only a few days left until school starts for the first time for him, so his mom forces him to come to the park and meet all the "sweet and wonderful children" in Konoha.

He's too nervous to talk to any of the kids, so he hangs back at the edge of the pack, seated on the wooden border of the sandbox.

At first, he doesn't notice her there next to him. She is huddled up a few feet away from him, looking longingly at a group of laughing and giggling girls with their giant ice creams. When he is finally aware that she is sitting there, he glances curiously over at her. She quickly catches his eye, and flinches, as if she expects him to strike her.

He looks over her carefully, and decides that she must be lonely. Her hair is drawn over her eyes, almost as if she's hiding behind the pale, abnormally pink strands. Suddenly, he decides to be polite, like how his mom tells him to be. He solemnly sticks out a chubby hand, watching impassively as she draws back.

"Hi. My name's Sasuke." He smiles brightly, and maybe that's what drives her to tentatively take his hand, her voice shaking as she quietly stutters her name.

"I'm…H-Haru-n-no…Sa-Sakura." She tries hard to smile, and he sees the beauty in it.

"You're prettier when you smile." He points this out bluntly.

She is surprised, but pleased.

[_When we see each other for the first time, it__'__s like it never happened._

He is seven now, and it's been ten months since he lost everything. He no longer smiles, since to him, smiling is unnecessary for survival.

Everything is about survival now. He struggles forward to the top of the class at the academy, knowing that he needs the skills to kill his brother. He has set his path firmly on avenging his clan, knowing-- thinking that his dad would be proud of him. There's no way to know now, though.

He runs into her as she is coming back from her kunoichi skills class. He vaguely remembers that afternoon by the sandbox, but doesn't quite recall her name.

She remembers his name, though.

He turns around to face her as she runs noisily up the path, half stumbling, half tripping to a stop by his side. She looks up at him, and smiles a smile that he knows he saw 3 years ago.

He studies her, noticing that she wears a ribbon in her hair now, to keep it out of her way. He also sees that bright, cheery clothes she has on, so unlike the dark blues and blacks she used to wear so that she could fade into the background.

But it's her smile that catches his eye the most. He faintly remembers telling her that she was prettier when she smiled. It was no lie.

This time, she's the polite one. Grinning, she holds out her hand, and speaks happily.

"I'm Haruno Sakura. You're Sasuke, right? We met before."

He faintly hears her speaking, but doesn't reply. He doesn't want to talk to her. He's afraid that she might lead him astray from his goal of killing Itachi.

So he quickly walks away as she is introducing herself, but he doesn't leave fast enough. He can still see her smile crumpling from the corner of his eye.

He tells himself it's because she isn't necessary for survival.

But her broken-down expression still haunts his nightmares for the next few nights.

[_I dream of your smile at night, and think about what could have been._

He smirks faintly as he sits silently in his corner of the classroom. It has taken a few extra years, but it is finally his last day (hopefully, ever) at the academy. He knows that today is the start of (**something new**—lolz, jk) a brand new part of his life. He's aware that today, everything changes.

He ignores the trickling stream of students filing into the classroom. He doesn't know most of their names, anyway.

He's spent the last five years training to get faster, stronger, and smarter, with minimal amounts of social activity. He is positive that if he gets to anyone too well, 1)Itachi will kill them, and 2)they'll most definitely hold him back.

Then, a loud thumping noise alerts him, and he sees a blonde kid drop into the seat beside him. He knows that kid's name. It's Uzumaki Naruto. The loudest, stupidest blockhead in the class.

He wonders that Naruto is doing here. Didn't he fail the final exams miserably a week ago?

No matter, he tells himself. None of them matter.

The whole class looks up as a thundering noise is heard throughout the building. He watches in boredom as two girls race into the classroom, pushing and shoving against each other to get in first. The platinum blonde-haired girl is a stranger to him, but he remembers HER. She's the girl he met so many years ago, when everything was still alright.

He scrutinizes her closely, and takes notice of everything that has changed. She wears a bright red dress now, and walks around proudly, carrying herself like royalty. She is smiling, but it's a forced one. To others, it may look cute, but to him, it doesn't even compare to when she smiles wholeheartedly.

He also notices that her once pastel pink hair is now shiny, long and vibrant, and it's held back by her hai-ate, which she wears like a headband in place of her ribbon.

He's happy for her, because she looks so much better off than before.

But he catches himself thinking like this, and reminds himself that he is an avenger, and that she is of no importance.

He doesn't allow himself to recognize her.

[_I__'__d like to remember your name, but it__'__s a bit too late now._

He's mad now. He storms down the hallway, asking himself why it had to be them.

_**At first, he**__**'**__**s disgruntled at hearing that the graduating class is to be split into 3-man cells. **__**He knows that whoever is picked to be his teammates will hold him back.**_

_**But it gets worse.**_

He sighs, and sits down on the nearest bench, and he thinks over what happened that morning.

_**He **__**soon**__** finds out that he is stuck with her and N**__**a**__**ruto for teammates. This is worse than he thought. Because even though a small part of **__**him**__** rejoices at having teammates that he**__**'**__**s somewhat familiar with, the other side of **__**him**__** swears, knowing that he is so not going to get along with them.**_

He grimaces and closes his eyes in frustration, only to be disturbed when he hears her loudly calling his name.

"Sasuke-kun! Are you there?" Her voice sounds out hopefully, and he sighs, thinking that maybe she would just leave him alone for once. But he has no such luck.

She rounds the corner a few moments later, and her eyes gleam happily when she sees him.

"Sasuke-kun," she begins, "I thought that maybe we could have lunch together since…since we're on the same team…"

Her adoring smile fades somewhat when he turns away silently. 'When will she figure out that I can't afford to have important people?' He wonders, exasperated.

As he walks away, he argues with the small, regretful part of him that insists on having friends.

He convinces himself that he doesn't need to be burdened, and that friends would only weigh him down. He explains that no matter what, if the people he tries protect are cumbersome, Itachi would never die.

And just like that, he seals away his feelings and thoughts. Just like that, he seals his fate.

It's only late at night, when even the moon's brilliance has faded, that he admits to himself that maybe he'd already begun to think of her as precious eight years ago.

[_Part of me feels like I know you, but I can__'__t really tell anymore._

He's not really sure where he is right now. All he knows is that she's out there in the forest, alone. He's aware that Naruto is lying next to him, and they're sheltered under the roots of some ancient tree.

He can hear the sound of battle outside, and he itches to know if she is caught in the fight. _If she__'__s alright._

Then he begins to feel a deep power welling up inside him. It starts somewhere around his neck, and spreads throughout his body in intense waves. He instinctively knows that the raw power now coursing through his veins isn't his own; It's a dark kind of energy, evil in its own respective right.

But he doesn't care about that. Right now, all that matters is that she's alone, and unprotected.

He comes to a few minutes later, unaware of what happened. In front of him, a weaselly looking guy kneels, crying out in pain. He feels arms around him, and twists his neck slightly, and sees her hugging him. He figures that it was probably her who brought him back from the brink of insanity.

She looks up at him with tears welling out of her eyes, scared for him. And as they stare at each other, both realize certain things.

Finally, finally, he accepts that he can't continue living while trying to push everybody away. That he needs people to be there for him, to support him.

And she sees that deep down, he cares for her. She looks into his eyes, and knows that even then, he won't ever allow himself to put her in danger by acknowledging her.

She knows it's for her own good, but it doesn't comfort her much.

[_Sometimes, I wish I weren__'__t so good at lying._

"Sasuke-kun…are you really leaving?"

She knows he won't answer, but his retreating form is proof enough.

"Sasuke, please, don't go! I…I love you so much I can't stand it!!!" She cries out, not even trying to blink back the tears rolling down her face.

He stiffens, and seems to falter. But his mind's made up. He won't come back until Itachi is dead.

He whispers a soft "arigatou" as he catches her body in his arms. He tries not to look at her when he lays her on the bench.The full moon outlines his sillhouette as he silently fades away into the shadows,and he bitterly thinks that unlike those stupid cliches, the weather doesn't quite embody the angst of the moment.

He knows that he'll be leaving behind his friends, his team, his rivals, and his adopted family.

_And a pretty girl who meant the world to him._

He knows all this. But he keeps going.

Maybe, when this is all over, he'll drag his bleeding and bruised body back to Konoha.

Maybe he'll find her still waiting, with that beautiful smile on her face.

Maybe she'll welcome him back with open arms, and a gentle hug.

Maybe, when all this is done with…

He will finally be able to tell her the truth,

And say the words she longs to hear.

_L__ove you._

[_One day, maybe I__'__ll recall what really happened._

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Happy New Years.

TsUnAmIrageFiRe


End file.
